Setback: A Brief(ish) Health Update

Well, I have good news and bad news.

For the past several days, I have believed myself to be sick with a virus. My symptoms have been a low grade fever, diarrhea, fatigue and a general feeling of "puniness." The weird thing is that I have been suffering from diarrhea for almost two weeks and a temp for almost that long. I have been doing all of my "hippy remedies" that worked for my last virus/infection, but I haven't been getting better.

 Last night, I felt led by the Lord to read further in my GAPS book. I read the chapter on supplementation in which Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride warns the reader that the GAPS patient is often too sensitive for supplements beyond probiotics and hydrochloric acid. The actual capsules can cause irritation of the gut lining. I had a major "aha" moment because my mind naturally went to all of the encapsulated supplements I've been taking.

However, I realized soon thereafter that the capsules were not likely my greatest offender. I started a powder supplement (which I mix with water and drink) called "OptiCleanse" a little over two weeks ago, beginning with a small dose and gradually increasing.

This is what I believe has happened as a result--the "cleanse" has inflamed my digestive tract, causing me to have diarrhea at least once a day (which is crazy because I have always had the opposite problem). The inflammation in my gut has triggered inflammation everywhere else, causing the fever, pains and aches I've been experiencing as well as the fatigue and bad case of the "blahs" which, in my opinion, should be reserved for January. In addition to these symptoms, I am more sensitive to allergenic substances. Last night, I had my first major food reaction in several weeks. Today, I had my first severe reaction to latex in awhile. (Praise the Lord, but!) My body (which has completely reprogrammed through diet, B.E.S.T. therapy and BioSet treatments) now HATES Benadryl, so I just waited out the symptoms, trusting a capable family member to administer Epi if needed.

The good news: I'm not sick with a virus.
The bad news: I'm not sick with a virus.

A virus would have likely compromised my immunity in the case of exposure to another illness. Granted, that is never fun, but I could have recovered fairly quickly from a measly little virus. Instead, I find myself set back almost two months in my efforts to heal my gut. That's two months I can't get back. I almost have to start over. Boooo!!!

Please pray for me. I am struggling emotionally with this because in addition to feeling the last two months have almost been all for naught, I also know that it means that I have to go back to eating mostly broths and soups for awhile. (In my best whiny, three-year-old voice)--I DON'T WANNA go back to broths and soups!!!!! Buuuuuuut, I need to.  I will likely live dangerously, and choose to splurge a bit around Christmas. I'm thinking maybe another Crockpot roasted chicken and a chocolate pudding made out of avocados and dates. (I know--I'm so wild.) But for now, I'm going to mind my "p"s and "q"s as well as I can manage so that "splurging" will be an option. I have also discontinued all of my supplements outside of probiotics, digestive enzymes and the ones I need to correct the problems caused by my genetic mutation.

 Also, I really hate feeling sick. It's hard doing everything I've come to expect of myself, and feeling like poo all the while. It's hard figuring out how I'm going to feed my family satisfying meals which will require much of my effort while having to pass on what I would like to eat, and eat something else much less satisfying. (Seriously, can I just act like a child and demand to be taken care of? Please?)

While I am not pleased at all by the turn of events or the timing of the turn, the Lord remains my strength. I no longer feel His arms quite so keenly as I did in those early days of questions and terror, but He has proven the reality of His presence every day. I am not physically stronger, but He has made me stronger in other ways. He is currently weeding out vices and problems with my heart, molding me into something more like Jesus and less like my old self. He is challenging me on new planes, and every part of my soul He has touched has breathed forth new life. He has allowed this setback for specific reasons, all of which must be good because HE is good.

So, I may be bummed, but I know where to go for JOY--the lasting kind that does not heed circumstances or feelings about those circumstances. On February 26, at I time in which I had no assurance I would live to see the next day, I wrote this little gem of a sentence in my journal-- "If I cannot take joy in anything else, I will look into the face of JOY Himself until it returns to me."

That's my plan, and I'm sticking to it.